this made me laugh

a few of my favorites, taken from a facebook group... 'you know you're from texas when...":

• You measure distance in minutes.
• You say “Yes, ma’am” and “Yes, sir” to your own parents.
• Directions include "down yonder".
• There is a Dairy Queen in every town with a population of 1000 or more.
• You discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.
• You listen to the weather forecast before picking out an outfit.
• School gets canceled for 1/2 an inch of snow, your "snowmen" are less than 2 feet tall, and a majority of it is sand and leaves
• You know that roadrunners don’t say Beep Beep.
• You know the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
• Hot water comes out of both taps.
• You realize asphalt has a liquid state.
• You carry jumper cables in your car ... for your OWN car.
• You have known someone who has had one belt buckle bigger than your fist.
• You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" is – and you know better than to go “snipe hunting”.
• School is cancelled for Stock Show/Rodeo.
• You have 5 pairs of boots and they all serve different purposes.
1) Work boots
2) Rodeo boots
3) Dress boots
4) Casual boots
5) Huntin’ boots
• You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry and your cowboy boots.
• You shop at HEB.
• You can wear a T-Shirt one day and the temperature drop 50 degrees with ice on the ground by the next morning.
• You can drive all day and not leave the state.
• When it rains, everyone is smiling.
• The Pastor wears boots.
• Four generations of the same family sit together in worship.
• You see more Texan flags than American flags.
• You know someone who ate the 72 oz steak and got it for free.
• You prefer Whataburger to McDonalds.
• You're disappointed when a food doesn't come in spicy flavor.
• You can tell a rock from an armadillo at 300 yards.
• You know people with black cars and/or leather seats are just asking for it.
• You know what Lone Star Beer is.
• Your idea of the perfect summer involves floating along in the sweltering hot July sun while your butt freezes in the cold Guadalupe for 8 hours straight!
• 45 minutes to work is the average... on a good day.
• Texas has two political leanings: Conservative and Austin
• On any given day, there's something someone's allergic to somewhere in the air.
• You know that that plural of “y’all” is “all y’all”.
• Yes, it is possible for it to be 3 A.M., 85º and 95% humidity. And then there's Houston...
• There are days when your towels won't dry.
• We have four geographical regions; how many do you have?
• It's called a bluebonnet. Leave it alone.
• Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." Your Lexus WILL get dirty.
• You drive a pickup truck because you want to.
• You know 4 seasons - summer, hot summer, scorching hot summer and Deer Season.
• You go to the gas station and there is a sign in the window that reads, “No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service!”
• You have used/heard the term “booze cruise” when bored on a Saturday night.
• So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.
• A Mexican restaurant can be judged by its salsa.
• Yes, by "Mexican", we mean "Tex-Mex" -- the only version that counts.u
• you ask for ice tea, and they automatically bring sweet tea
• you remember the last time it snowed in texas right down to the day, hour, min etc
• People can name more Texas cities then capitals of other states
• you know your from Texas when you can dip, drink a beer, and eat bbq all at the same time
• by the time that you are 7 years old... you have most likely driven a tractor by yourself
• when you truly believe Texas could be its own country!
• you don't like people from oklahoma


JUST TO NOTE:
It's a common misconception that everything is twice as big in Texas, really, everything is 1.965 times bigger, but we round up.
It's a common misconception that we have killer bees, fire ants, gigantic roaches and mosquitoes and other awful insects, tornadoes, hurricanes, and damaging hailstorms. We tend to think of them as a few bitty bugs and a bad hair day.
It's a common misconception that everyone speaks with a Texas draw. Y'all just don't know what y'all are talkin' about.


Finally, you are 100% Texan if you have ever heard this conversation:
“You wanna coke?”
“Yeah.”
“What kind?”
“Dr. Pepper.”