Do you think people dressed in ponchos and sombreros (ostensibly dressed as “Mexicans”) get embarrassed when they run into me?

This was the question I posed to my (Irish/German-American) boyfriend as we wandered around Salem on Halloween and saw our third or fourth sombrero/poncho/mustache combo stroll past us. He asked if it offended me (as a Mexican-American) and I couldn’t give a definitive answer of “Yes” but more like – “it’s annoying and I wish they wouldn’t.” It was hard for me to explain that seeing people dressed as “Mexican” alongside people dressed as zombies, bananas, and characters from the Jersey Shore made me sort of stiffen and groan on the inside.

Because I’m so non-confrontational, my boyfriend volunteered to confront one of the Halloween “Mexicans” and ask about their motivations for me, but I declined his offer. You can’t really explain to a drunken Halloween reveler that by dressing as “a Mexican” they’re being culturally insensitive and putting an entire group of unassuming people on a cartoonish character pedestal alongside reality show train wrecks (Snooki), pop music icons (Lady Gaga), and movie characters (Avatar). Snooki, Lady Gaga, and the aliens in Avatar are acceptable Halloween costumes because these people and characters put themselves in the spotlight. They are caricatures they created themselves or are fake characters dreamt up in the mind of a Hollywood producer. I think my argument is that Mexicans are not asking to be mocked, and if the butt of the joke isn’t in on it – it’s not that funny. I think my boyfriend tried to understand my argument but it was still elusive, mainly he just didn’t want to see me upset.

Later on in the evening my Muslim-sensitive boyfriend said, “That’s ridiculous!” when he saw a couple of guys dressed up as “Muslims” in robes and head-wraps and assorted accessories. He was couldn’t pinpoint why their outfits were offensive, but he knew the message that they were sending was wrong and not “all in fun.” At that point I said – “Remember how I couldn’t explain why dressing ‘Mexican’ for Halloween was wrong, but it just is?” and he nodded in agreement.

Unrelated, we went dressed as a pair of pandas: cute, non-offensive and drastically endangered.

how they do it down south

so. while i still spend my work days in boston, i am officially part of the austin office.

today was a training session for people from the dallas and austin offices of my company. it was my first time meeting any one from texas offices. i was nervous about the whole 'walk into a giant room where you know no one' thing. but i've done it before. and of course, all these people were texans, so it was easy to sit down and find people to talk to right off the bat. i know that i work for a huge, global company and everytime i meet people from different places i'm amazed at how similar our work experiences are. and the whole 'it's a small world' piece of it also. it's awesome when i meet someone who knows someone else i know.

so anyways. we went over a series of situations that can come up at work, on the client site, and how to approach them. the seminar's faculty gave advice on how to take ownership of our careers and make sure we continue to develop our skill sets. so you know... some good stuff. general people and client management stuff that can definitely yield results going forward.

but the one thing that stuck out to me the most today- which is not particularly career focused but is definitely related - was the percentage of married people in attendance. this company function was focused on people at my level, who for the most part are mid to late twenties. and i would say that at least 90% were wearing wedding rings.

obviously, i'm used to senior level people in my company being married. but seeing people my age - all married off, it's weird. things just aren't like that in boston. yes, there are definitely young people in boston that are married. i friends with a few. and a few engaged people here and there. but it's definitely not the majority.

i ate lunch with three women and a large part of our conversation involved, 'my husband this...' or 'my in-laws that...' then they turned to me, "flora- are you married?" um. no! boyfriend? still no... cue awkward silence.

it's weird feeling so out of place due to my marital status. my non-existent marital status.

yes, of course i would like to find a nice guy to date. that'd be awesome. i'm generally open to meeting new people and i'd love to find a boy.

but come on now. seriously? i could not possibly see marriage in my near future. at all. i'm such a kid. focused on me, myself and i. and sometimes the world as a whole. but mostly- me.

these texans. already all married off by the age of 25. i don't get it. i'm not fitting in. also every single person i met today besides the two foreigners (UK and France) went to college in texas and lived here for most of their adult lives. UT, TAMU, baylor, SMU, texas state, UNT. also, so not me. i was the only weirdo who'd wandered off for college, and then was crazy/smart/dumb enough to return to the homeland. at least people had heard of boston college. of course, i know our recent success in football is a factor in my school's brand recognition.

however. they did all say, y'all regularly. and there was almost an aggie/horn throwdown which was thouroughly entertaining. and they all know where grapevine mills is and the awesomeness of chick-fil-a and have visited san antonio beyond the rivewalk. texans. i love them. i am them. kind of.